The Present
by MissBe
Summary: River tries to surprise Jayne when everything goes wrong. AU: takes place after BDM. Very short read.


"What the gorram hell is going on on this boat?" Everyone heard Malcolm Reynolds scream at Jayne as he got shoved into the wall by a muttering Jayne.  
"Gorram bitch ain't gonna live as a moon-brain for long now… gonna take care of that problem right now!"  
"What the gorram hell you talking about Jayne? Don't you think you gonna lay a gorram hair on her gorram head!"  
"I ain't gonna touch a hair on her head cap'n, I'm gonna blow the gorram thing off!" At this, Jayne shoved by the captain again and dropped down into his bunk. Not knowing whether to go after Jayne, or … or what, he decided to see what caused all the disruption was all about. Malcolm went into the galley to see what River had done this time. Upon entry, all he found was a contented River sketching on her pad with Vera (Jayne's favorite gun) on the other end of the galley table. Completely confused now, Malcolm was still standing there trying to figure out who to yell at or who to shoot when Jayne barreled in with Sarah, his custom made hand rifle. Realizing who was going to get shot (and not by him), in a quick show of reflexes, Malcolm hit Jayne's hand up into the air just as he pulled the trigger. The bullet went wide and ricocheted off the ceiling to hit the galley table a foot away from River, who looked up at Jayne and Malcolm.  
"It's too loud in here. She is going to her room to finish."  
Shocked to silence, Jayne watched as River left the galley toward her bunk. He was soon snapped out of his silence by the click of a cocked gun and looked to his right to see Mal's gun in front of his face.  
"You have exactly six seconds to explain yourself before I do to you what you were gonna do to River!"  
"Mal…"  
"5!"  
"Mal! I…"  
"4!"  
"She…"  
"3!"  
"She…she…"  
"2!"  
"She took Vera apart! She had her all 'ta pieces right in front 'o me when I came in here! There was springs there! And…and the trigger! It was over there! Where it shouldn'a been! She had her all torn apart and …and… my baby!"  
Through his haze of anger, the realization that his merc was babbling for the first time that he knew of, he allowed himself to truly hear Jayne's side of the story.  
"Mal… my baby… she took her apart! I saw her all in pieces an' an'… VERA!"  
It was Mal's turn to stand in shock as Jayne, in his child like shock, grabbed Vera, cradling it and went to his own bunk. Mal let his gun fall to his side as he accidentally pulled the trigger and all but shot himself in the foot.  
"GORRAM IT!"

* * *

"River, you gonna explain to me why you had Jayne's gun ta pieces earlier today?"  
"What he doesn't see didn't happen"  
"I right knowed what I didn't see, but what i did see is whatever you did do reduced my merc to a babbling boy who'd had his toy broken. Don't try that with me 'lil albatross."  
"She wishes to present Jayne with a birthday present. She does not like the naked women in Jayne's bunk."  
"What's in Jayne's bunk is Jayne's, you got no right going through other peoples' bunks deciding what you think should or shouldn't exist."  
"She thinks she should if she cannot sleep at night due to slimy thoughts being projected into her brainpan. She is crazy enough. It is disgusting."  
"You know you ain't supposed to be riflin' through people's thoughts."  
"SHE CAN"T HELP IT! She tries to block it out! She goes into holes! Holes covered in Steel and titanium! She cannot escape because the noise is so loud! She hates it and wants to rectify *her* problem. Not Jayne's..."  
"I'm sorry 'lil albatross. Just... Just don't get yourself shot in the process. If you need something ask before you take. Especially when it belongs to Jayne."  
"But Jayne is suspicious and would not have allowed her to take his most precious belonging."  
"You're a genius girl. Figure another way then."  
"She thought that the funny one was keeping him occupied, his loud thoughts were of a conversation between them, she did not realize that it was a conversation not taking place at the time. She is sorry for causing bullets to fly."  
"What you working on anyway? That's an awful big piece of paper there 'lil albatross."  
"Don't Look! Just for Jayne!"  
"ok ok, not lookin'! Figure I'll see when I'm supposed to see. I'll leave you to it. Don't forget to relieve Wash of duty in a few hours."  
"Yes captain daddy."

* * *

A few days later River found Jayne in the common room outside of the med bay looking at a gun magazine.

"She would like to apologize to Jayne for hurting him, so she has a present of apology for him."  
"I don't want nothin-o-yers since you broke my baby. Now I gotta find a manual for 'er to take her apart n' put her back together right."  
"She put him back the same as she found it. She has proof. Look."

River handed Jayne a roll of paper as big as a poster. Jayne looked at the rolled up paper and she saw the flicker of indecision before his eyes turned to steel.  
"No. I wan nothin' to do with ya. We had fun you callin' me ape, me callin' you moon-brain. Hell i'll even accept it was fun stealin' yer food, but you crossed the line. NO more. Soon's this boat hits land on Persephone, I'm gone."  
"Jayne."  
At the sound of his name he looked into River's eyes.  
"Jayne," she started again, "she wanted to surprise him on his birthday. He was thinking loudly and she could not help but hear. But he was not talking to the funny one and she wanted everything to be perfect, so she did not realize the rock had snuck up on her. She wishes to give his present as an apology and will discover another way to surprise the rock on his birthday. Please, take this."  
The only thing that kept him there was the obvious distress River was in. She never openly referred to people these days by the nicknames she had given them, and she had never said his nickname to his face. Looking at the roll of paper, Jayne made his decision. He took it.  
"Thank you Jayne. She will leave you now."  
She heard him gasp as she walked away and stopped in the hope that he would forgive her. For the last few days all she could feel was pain from Jayne in regards to his gun, and it hurt to see what should have been a wonderful surprise become a disaster.  
"River..." She turned to accept what judgment he had to give.  
"River... I... I don't know what to say...It's...It's..."  
"Don't say anything. Just don't hurt anymore. She is sorry." At that Jayne snapped out of his shock and saw the raw pain in River's eyes. He watched, still holding the poster, as she left the common room. He looked down at a perfect diagram of the cross section of Vera.  
"It's beautiful."

That night when River was taking stock of the crew and their mental projections, she didn't feel the slimy thoughts of the crewmember she considered her rock.

She felt peace, and for the first time in a long time, she slept in peace.


End file.
